Trying to Figure It All Out

It’s Sunday and I normally used to go church every Sunday. Here lately… I have no interest. It’s not that I no longer believe in God or that I don’t want to worship him, it’s just…… well… I’m not even sure what it is!

There is no one to blame but myself. I’ve disconnected myself and I’m not sure why.

I’m am literally sitting here trying to figure it out and I can’t. I just don’t want to go.

Maybe it’s because I’ve gained so much weight and I feel so self-conscience. Or… maybe it’s this disease. Somewhere, I read that one of the symptoms is that it causes you to not enjoy things that you used to. (I’ve looked for an article about it, but can’t locate one at this moment.)

Anyway….. It’s almost time for me to start getting ready to go and I just don’t want to.


Journal Entry: Wednesday – January 14, 2015

Monday was a good day at work. I worked out and did Zumba. I can tell that I am so out of shape. I weighed and measured for the first time in forever. It was NOT good! I weighed more than I ever have in my history of working at Curves! My inches were up, too! My blood pressure was high, as well. I have a feeling that it has to do with my thyroid. 

Yesterday, I felt extremely bloated and uncomfortable. I didn’t work out at all. All I wanted to do was go home. I went to Barnes & Noble (book store) after work to look for books on hypothyroid. I ended up buying two. (I LOVE BOOKS!) 

I came home and immediately started reading one of them. But, I started getting sleepy — which is one of the symptoms of hypothyroidism. As soon as I started falling asleep… my stupid leg started jerking!! UGH!! Soooo….. I had to take my leg medicine, which made me even more sleepy! I was a sleepy “zombie” for the rest of the day and evening. I went to bed at 8:00 and slept until 5:00 this morning! I slept really well. I hope that I am caught up enough that I won’t be so tired today. 

I “think” I am starting to feel the effects of this anti-depressant medication that my doctor put me on. I feel “weird”, like I have no emotion. But… it “could” be the depression. I have no idea. At least I’m not bawling my eyes out like I was! 

Today, I go see Katie (my hairdresser) to get my hair done. I want to go see my mom, too. I want to ask her about her history with her thyroid. She had hers removed years ago, but I don’t remember why. 


Alright… I guess I’ll go take a shower and try to get myself motivated to go to church.

I apologize for no pictures with this post. I would like to find a picture of my church and share it with you.

Oh… and I left out “links” in this post, as well. Oops!! I got in a hurry!! 

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