Restless Legs, Depression and most of all… GOD

Well, I think my thyroid levels might be leveling out because I am sleeping better at night. The downside (I guess) is that I am waking up later than I usually do and it’s throwing me off schedule! I function better with a routine, so I may have to revamp my “schedule”. But…. I suppose it’s a good thing.

I do find myself still getting very tired by mid afternoon. This is when I stop and relax. Unfortunately… when I do that, tho… my legs begin to jerk because of my Restless Leg Syndrome! So, then I have to take my first round of meds to calm my legs down so that I can sit still. The meds make me sleepy, so I usually take a nap. By 7 pm… I’m ready to go again!

I used to not have energy in the evening and would go to bed by 9 pm. Lately, tho… because my energy has been bouncing back, I am finding myself getting some things done and staying up until about 10 pm. That is SOOOOOO different for me!! I have not been able to do that in quite a while.

I have been using that time to get some paperwork done (inventory and research) for my business that I am trying so hard to get off the ground. So, it’s working out pretty good right now.

Journal Entry: Monday – March 2, 2015

Church 2005 - 1
My church 

Hubs and I went to church yesterday. I was afraid that I would be emotional through the whole service, but I did okay …. until communion!  (I used to cry almost every time we went to church! I “think” it was the depression, but I didn’t know it at the time. It was quite embarrassing! Taking communion STILL makes me cry! It’s very emotional for me.)

Mandy was in front of me and as I watched her take communion, I LOST IT!!! (Mandy had gotten the job as a flight attendant and would be leaving soon to go train in Atanta for a month and then be sent to who-knows-where, to live and work)

Lori…  (The wife of my pastor and also a pastor herself!)… was serving us and she saw that I was upset. She said the most beautiful thing to me… God loves you Becky and He loves Mandy even more than you do! He’ll take care of her.” THAT really helped me. (She knew all about Mandy’s new job)

The next few days in my journal … were quite scary, healthwise. I’ll continue writing more tomorrow.

My best friend, in Atlanta just texted me to tell me that her daddy passed away this morning. I burst out in tears when I read the text. I know all too well what it feels like to lose both of your parents. You feel VERY alone and you feel like an orphan. It’s an awful feeling.