Hormone Replacement Therapy Drugs… not a good thing.

I struggle with titles for my blog posts EVERY time I write! 

I have a migraine this morning, but I am going to push through and get a blog post written for you. I’ve been missing days lately because of the holiday weekend and Hubs has been home, not feeling well.

Another thing that has had me busy the past couple of days is my Poshmark store! I had quite a few sales over the weekend AND…. I had a friend give me some things to sell for her!! WAHOO!! I have been busy processing and getting her things listed. It is time-consuming, but fun and I LOVE IT! 🙂


Journal Entry: Tuesday – March 5, 2015

Well… I didn’t wake up with a headache, so that’s a good sign! (Got one today, tho!!) But, once again, I only slept for about 6 hours. (I did this for a while. Recently it was better and I was sleeping a little more. Now…. I’m back to only 5-6 hours again.) 

Yesterday, was a good day. I did have heart palpitations ALL DAY! I don’t feel them this morning, so that’s good. Although… I kinda’ wish they were there because I have that appointment with my endocrinologist today. 

My friend, Melissa, is going with me and I appreciate that. I am so nervous! I made a list of questions to ask and my current symptoms. I made a copy for the doctor, as well. 

My eating is OUT OF CONTROL!!! And… of course… I don’t want the “good-for-you” foods. I only want the JUNK FOOD! 


Journal Entry: Friday – March 6, 2015

I don’t know if I’ll have time to write about my whole day yesterday, or not. I may have to finish it later. 

My anxiety was OUT THE ROOF yesterday as I went to go pick up Melissa and head to my doctor’s appointment! It was pouring rain, too and I could feel my BP rising. Not good. When we got there, the nurse took my BP and it was 160/97!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think KNOW it was my nerves. 

Next, we saw the doctor. He examined me and said that my thyroid was still slightly enlarged. Then, he looked at my blood work report and said that my thyroid levels were good, but my estrogen was low. He also said that he doesn’t think that I’m getting enough sleep (DUH!!) or eating enough food. (REALLY???) So, we talked about that. 

He put me on a sleep medication called… Ambien and a combined medication for my hormones … Progestin(A year later…. I learned that I should have NEVER taken this drug!) He also told me to take one of the medications for my Restless Legs in the morning instead of at night because it was for anxiety, not sleep. He said that my anxiety is why my BP is high. So, if I can get that under control, then it will help. He said that all of my other symptoms are caused by “Peri-menopause“. UGH! 

I DO still have the Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, but it is an autoimmune disease that’s attacking my thyroid. Right now… my thyroid is “okay”. (At this point… I was still unclear about what an “autoimmune disease” was and also that Hashi’s is LIFELONG, not temporary.)

Melissa and  I left the doctor’s office and went to lunch downtown at a pizza place. After that, I took her back to her office and I went to see my mom. I told her about everything and I broke down in tears when I realized how many medications that I would be taking and that I had always told myself that I would NOT be like her and be totally UNHEALTHY! (I don’t think I said those exact words to my mom, but she knew that she didn’t take care of herself and because of that… she paid the consequences with her health. I look at myself now…. and …. here I am going down the same path. I’m such a failure. I seem to fail at everything I do.  — Sorry. It’s the depression talking.)

But… really… Menopause is a natural thing that women go through, and the Hashi’s is not because I’m “unhealthy”, so… I guess I can’t blame myself for all of this. THANK YOU, LORD! 

I went to the pharmacy to pick up my new meds and the hormone drug was $50.00!!!!  I could feel my anxiety rising again had to take a few deep breaths. Since it was a new drug for me, I had to talk to the pharmacist about the side effects. —- UGH!!! NOT GOOD!!!! When I got back out to my car, I broke down in tears… AGAIN! I dreaded telling Hubs. 

The tears came flooding back when I got home. I told hubs and he “tried” to be sweet. 

I wish I could stay home today. I don’t want to go to work. 

Advertisements

Depression and Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis 

Yesterday, I promised to show you the autoimmune disease books that I have and the quiz that I did. Well….. I got busy and forgot to look for the books. Oops!

I slept later this morning than I usually do, which is RARE! My office is still a mess and I have not had the chance to look for the books. But… I promise to!

Last night, Hubs and I went to the concert that our nearby city has every Friday evening in the Spring and Fall. We met up with our long-time camping friends. This is something that we’ve done on and off for a few years now.

The band was good, but I just wasn’t in the mood to be there. I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t know if it’s depression, or what. Hubs and I left before it was over. I said that I had a headache, which I kinda’ did.

I did take some pictures ….

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


Journal Entry: Sunday – February 22, 2015

It’s pouring down rain this morning. In the past… rain would not keep me from going to church. These days, though…. not so much. But, we’ll see. 

It’s weird. I don’t want to be around people anymore. I just want to be alone or with Hubs and/or my girls. That is just SO unlike me!! — Like I said yesterday …. I STILL feel this way! Why??? I’m not sure. All I can think of is that’s it’s depression.

Journal Entry: Monday – February 23, 2015

I have ANOTHER headache!! Yesterday, I didn’t. I really think that it’s sinus pressure, though. I’m so tired of it!

We did go to church yesterday and then I was lazy the rest of the day. The Daytona 500 was on. We watched a good bit of it. 

Journal Entry: Wednesday – February 25, 2015

I didn’t write yesterday. I’m not sure why. I think my mind was just too preoccupied. 

Today, I have to go back to the endocrinologist and have the blood test done to check my cortisol level. I have to fast this morning. Soo.. no coffee with creamer. 

Journal Entry: Thursday – February 26, 2015

These morning headaches are getting old! I did read that they are symptom of this thyroid CRAP.  I’m just so tired of it.

I went to my doctor’s appointment yesterday morning. They drew more blood, still checking my hormone levels and my thyroid. I now know HOW I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. My TPO level was extremely high! It was 164! It is supposed to be between 0-34! YIKES!! There was another level that was too high, also. I can’t remember what it was, though. 

As I’ve mentioned before… I love to read and educate myself on things that I know nothing about. And… ESPECIALLY when it has to do with my health! 

I Googled TPO level so I could find something that explained what it is and I discovered a really good article regarding Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis

But… here is the portion on the TPO level…. (Of course, it’s a lot of medical mumbo-jumbo that I don’t understand! Maybe you will, though!)

Thyroid autoantibodies: Presence of typically anti-TPO (anti-thyroid peroxidase) and anti-Tg (anti-thyroglobulin) antibodies delineates the cause of hypothyroidism as Hashimoto thyroiditis or its variant; however, 10-15% of patients with Hashimoto thyroiditis may be antibody negative.

Signing off for now…

 

The Day I was Diagnosed With Hashimoto’s

 

Well, here comes the blog post that I have been leading up to. My diagnoses.

Today, though…. I am in some pain. My lower right back hurts… AGAIN! I have had two urinary tract infections already this year!! I NEVER GET THESE!! What is up with it?? My mom used to get them a lot while she was in the nursing home, but… ya… I don’t get why I AM getting them so frequently! Soo… that’s one more thing to worry about. It isn’t right that I am getting them this often.


Journal Entry: Tuesday – February 10, 2015

I have ANOTHER headache! UGH. I’m sure it’s just sinus pressure, but it’s still not fun. 

Today is my appointment with the Endocrinologist to get my tests results. I am a little freaked out about it, now that it’s here. But… I know no matter what… God’s got this! I guess I’m more anxious, than “worried”. 

Journal Entry: Wednesday – February 11, 2015

No headache this morning, and I was sleeping SO GOOD!! I woke up at 5:00 and wanted to go back to sleep, but I had to get up. The heating and air people will be here this morning. (We had a new system put in)

My doctor’s appointment went okay yesterday. I have what is called HASHIMOTO’S THYROIDITIS. It is an autoimmune disease that attacks the thyroid. 

The symptoms make sense. But they are also a LOT like Menopause symptoms.

(The information below is from WebMD.)

Symptoms of Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis

Hashimoto’s symptoms may be mild at first or take years to develop. The first sign of the disease is often an enlarged thyroid, called a goiter. The goiter may cause the front of your neck to look swollen. A large goiter may make swallowing difficult. Other symptoms of an underactive thyroid due to Hashimoto’s may include:

(Yes. I have almost all of these!)

Menopause: Symptoms

Menopause Symptoms If menopausal symptoms occur, they may include hot flashes, night sweats, pain during intercourse, increased anxiety or irritability, and the need to urinate more often. — (Hmmm…… maybe THIS is why I’m having the “issue” that I’m having now.)

(And …. this is what I mean by the two being so similar!)

Is It Thyroid Disease or Menopause?Millions of women with menopausal-like symptoms, even those taking estrogen, may be suffering from undiagnosed thyroid disease. While symptoms such as fatigue, depression, mood swings, and sleep disturbances are frequently associated with menopause, they may also be signs of hypothyroidism. 

My doctor said that he was unclear as to what is causing it to happen. I have to go back in 2 weeks for another blood test that they didn’t do the first time. This will check my cortisol hormone. 

Thankfully, I didn’t have diabetes or hypoglycemia. I still need to figure out what is causing some of my symptoms, though…. like my elevated blood pressure and this tingling & burning feeling in my fingertips. 

I need to switch family doctors. I need one that is more thorough. 

My “Endo” (Endocrinologist) wants me to eat better and cut out sugar. I’ve been doing better with that, but I guess I need to do even BETTER. I also need to eat more complex carbs. – Blech!

Okay… so… think about it… 

I have a combination of ALL the symptoms of both Hashi’s and Menopause!!

I think I’ll go back to bed now. UGH.

blues-boston-exhausted-funny-Favim.com-4075377 ( photo credit… favim.com )  So CUTE!!!!

What is Your Learning Style?

What type of learner are you??

If you don’t know…. I am about to give you a way to find out!

Remember my post from a couple of days ago, titled …. “Anxiety? Depression? Both?…. IDK” ? Well… in that post, I listed all the “junk” going on in my little brain.

This morning, as I flip to the next day of my journal, I see that on that day I made a list of what was on my brain tiny little brain then, as well! And… now that I think about it… I’ve done that many times as I’ve journal.

Does anyone else do that? Or is it just me??

I think… for me, it helps me to realize all ALL that I have going on, so that I can find ways to manage each thing on the list. I guess that goes along with me being a “visual” learner.

Check out this “visual” that I found….

learning-styles

I just had a really good chuckle (Chuckle?? I never use that word!! Where did that come from?) over the fact that I realized that I seem to always gravitate to “Google Images” when I want to learn about something! I really did just, “Laugh Out Loud”!! And yes… I AM a visual learner!! Well… 55% of my “little” brain, is. The other parts I learn by are, Tactile at 30% and Auditory at 15%.

So… yes… as I clicked on Google Images to look for a visual on “Types of Learning Styles” (Because I wanted to make sure that I really WAS a visual learner and didn’t want to be telling you something that wasn’t true!) I saw many beautiful images that I could have picked, but for some reason… this one caught my eye right away. Maybe because it was so “simple” looking and was very “colorful”. I love colors!! (Gee… I wonder why?)  

By reading these types of learning styles, I saw that… yes, I do believe that I am a visual learner, but … I also saw several others that I could be, also. I didn’t realize that there were so many different ones!

Clicking on the graphic led me to the web page where I found a link to a quiz that helps you discover what type of learner you are!!! HOW COOL IS THAT??!!!

Here are the links…

To the page with the graphic — https://oss.adm.ntu.edu.sg/a150018/tag/learning-style/

And here is the link (in case you miss seeing it) to the quiz….

http://www.educationplanner.org/students/self-assessments/learning-styles-quiz.shtml,

Okay…. back to my next journal entry. I apologize for going down another “bunny trail”. I think it was worth it, though!


Journal Entry: Friday – January 30, 2015

Yesterday, I went and had my blood work done and had the ultrasound. The girl that did the ultrasound said that the right side of my thyroid DID look enlarged. Of course… she was not at liberty to tell me what that actually “meant”. Soooo…. I will have to wait until my next visit with the doctor. UGH.

I am skipping some areas in my journal here in order to get to the part with the “list”.

I have SO MUCH on my mind right now!! My head feels like it is spinning! 

  • my thyroid and my health issues and having to WAIT on the results. (I’m usually a very patient person, but waiting on things like this… make me NUTS!)
  • changing primary care doctors. (This turned out to be a good thing, and it’s about to get even better!)
  • trying to do (and failing at it!!) the “Biggest Loser” challenge at work. (I used to work at a ladies gym called “Curves for Women”. Every January, they would have a contest to get the members (and employees) to lose their holiday weight that they gained. Yaaa…. I failed)
  • Hubs’ job change. (That ended up not happening, but it was stressful at the time.)
  • us moving (3-5 years from now? Or sooner) Yaaa… that didn’t happen either.
  • Mandy’s new job and MOVE! (where to?) She had just gotten a job as an flight attendant. 
  • helping Mandy get a newer car. 
  • my VERY cluttered office! (You should see it right now!!! YIKES!!)
  • getting new carpet & bedroom furniture
  • getting a new roof
  • getting a new heating and air system. 

NO WONDER I CAN’T FOCUS!!! 

That last sentence is interesting to me, because I say that almost daily now. Back then… I had NO idea why! Now, I know! It’s the stupid Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis!! 

Mom

WOW! I am so thankful for all of the “likes” on my blog post from yesterday! Who knew that a list of all the junk going on in my little brain could be so interesting! I could actually add MORE to that list this morning, but I don’t want to keep going down that “bunny trail”. 😉

I am not sure if I mentioned in a previous post or not, that my mom recently passed away, last year on September 25th. —- writing this through tears now… so hang in there with me….   She had a stroke in November of 2005. (The 2nd worst day of my life. The first was when my daddy died.) She lived most of her last 11 years in a nursing home. (I SHOULD have written a blog during all that, but I wasn’t mentally in the right frame of mind for it, for most of those years anyway.)

Anyway…. I needed to explain all of that before I write this next blog post. I didn’t want you to be confused and think… “Okay. I think I missed something. What happened to her mom?”

By the  way —- I have been told that I write like I talk … (which is a LOT!)… so, if I have your mind so confused as you read this, all I can say is… WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!


Journal Entry: Thursday – January 29, 2015.

I woke up with another headache this morning. I think it’s sinus pressure, but I had a bad dream just before I woke up. It could be because of that. 

I dreamed that I was with my mom in an apartment and I had come home to find her yelling at me because I had left the back door open and we had been robbed! (Wow. This is weird! I haven’t read this blog post since I write it over two years ago and I can still see this dream, fresh in my mind! Dreams totally fascinate me. They always have!) They had taken my stash of cash that I had hidden, (Wish I had that stash now! I could use it.) my iPod and my big camera. They did not take my laptop or my iPad. My mom and I got into a HUGE argument(This was not unusual. Through my teen years, my mom and I didn’t get along too well.) 

I wonder if my mom was in my dream because she called me last night about 8:30, asking me about an upaid car repair bill that she said she never paid. I told her not to worry because that had been 10 years ago! I forgot to mention that my mom’s mind was “sharp as a tack” (as she would say), up until the day before she died. 

More tears flowing…. hang in there with me.

IMG_2571
Not the best picture… but, this is my mom. This “selfie” was taken when Mandy & I went to go see her on Christmas Eve, 2014.

I have no earthly idea what brought that to her mind! It was rather odd. I couldn’t finish my conversation with her because the aides were there in her room, waiting to put her to bed. I should go over there today, but I don’t want to. (Please don’t judge me for that.)

This morning, I have to be at the endocrinologist’s office at 8:00 to have blood work and the ultrasound done on my thyroid.  I can’t eat anything. I’m trying to drink my coffee black, but… YUCK!!! I wish I had tomorrow off. I need a day at home. 

First Endocrinologist Appointment

Our weekend was good. We were camping with some long time friends. We have a wonderful State Park not far from where we live and it’s the perfect place to just get away for a weekend.

Friday, it was cold chilly and damp. It rained lightly on and off all day. Saturday, the weather was MUCH nicer! Sunny and warmer!

Even on the chilly, damp day… the woods were so beautiful!

IMG_9241

Anyway… back to that blog post that I tried to write before I left the other day. It won’t be exactly the same, but close enough!


 

Journal Entry: Thursday – January 22, 2015

I woke up this morning about 4:30 with my legs jerking! So, I’m sure I’ll be tired later. I am anxious to go to the doctor tomorrow about my thyroid.

Journal Entry: Friday – January 23, 2015

I worked this morning and “lightly” worked out. I felt like my heart was racing and I felt “flushed”. I stopped and took my blood pressure. It was WAY high again! Thankfully, I have my appointment with the endocrinologist today. I pray that he will give me some answers. Thankfully, Hubs is going with me. 

Journal Entry: Saturday – January 24, 2015

This is how my endocrinologist appointment went yesterday —

I REALLY liked the doctor. He was VERY thorough. They saw me almost immediately, which was great! I was taken back by a woman that had me get on that evil scale! Then, she took me to another room and asked me a whole LOT of questions about my health history and about my parents health history. She also took my blood pressure, and … again… it was EXTREMELY HIGH!! 147/101!!! SOOOOO Scary!! 

She then, took us into another room where we waited for the doctor. He came in and asked me even MORE questions. (Like I said… he was VERY thorough!) He felt of my neck and said that my thyroid felt slightly enlarged. He also talked to me about my diet, alcohol intake, and my sleep. He wants me to change all of that. He doesn’t feel like I’m getting enough sleep and I am not eating at the right time since I get up so early. That makes sense, of course. 

I go back next week to have blood work done and to have an ultrasound of my thyroid. Then, I go back on February 13th for my follow up appointment. 

He is checking my thyroid levels and my estrogen levels. He thinks that I may have HYPOTHYROIDISM and/or my estrogen is low. (This is what I wanted my regular doctor to check for in the first place and she said that it couldn’t be done!)

I can’t wait to get answers and start feeling better!! 

Seeing Stars, But Not the Kind in the Sky

I am enjoying blogging. I can write all day long! That isn’t a problem with me at all. My problem seems to be coming up with good titles for my posts. Why is that such a struggle??  So… forgive me if they sounds boring and not thought out. I try. I really do!!

It’s a nasty rain day here in Georgia. I’m thankful that I don’t have to be out in it today!

I am also thankful that I have had more energy lately! My endocrinologist put on a thyroid medication called “Armour Thyroid”. Of course, it’s not really to help my Hashi’s or to help my thyroid. It’s just to help me battle the symptoms of it all. This autoimmune disease will still kill my thyroid over time. Could be months. Could be years. The Hashi’s will never go away, unfortunately.


Journal Entry: Tuesday – January 20, 2014

I don’t have long to write this morning since it’s a work day, but I wanted to document that I had a MEDICAL SCARE yesterday!! 

My blood pressure has been running high. (I have been checking it at work) Yesterday, before I worked out… it was high — 139/95!!!! I was kind of scared to work out after that, but I did. 

Then, while I was doing Zumba… about 40 minutes into it… I started seeing stars!! I knew I needed to sit down. So, I did. I felt better then. It sure did scare me!!! I just pray that it’s my thyroid and nothing else. I pray that I can take medication for it and feel better.

Journal Entry: Wednesday – January 21, 2014

All I can think about is all this possible thyroid stuff!!! It is consuming my mind! I’m not really worried. (Ya, right!!) I’m just anxious to get started on some answers and get to feeling like myself again! (I’m STILL waiting on that!)

I keep thinking … what if the doctor says that my thyroid is fine?? Then WHAT? Do I keep insisting on answers?? UGH! I don’t know what to do. 

I know that I really need to quit thinking about it and let God be in control. It sure is hard to do, though. 

I’m going to get some chores done here at home this morning and then go to town. I need to run some errands and then I have to go to the nursing home. Chester ate some of my mom’s important papers! Soooo…. I have to go get copies of those and then take them to get signed. 

Chester was one of our beautiful Golden Retrievers. Sadly, he developed Leukemia and we had to put him down in April of last year. 😦

IMG_4206

Chronic Illness & Social Media

Do you ever sign up for email newsletters because you read a really good article on social media and you think… “That was really good! Yes, I WILL sign up to receive your newsletters in my email!

So the newsletter begins to deliver to your “mail box”  and you find that you are constantly saying to your self… “That looks good, but I’ll save it and read it later.” … knowing FULL WELL that you WON’T! It gets sucked into your long list of either opened and unread emails, or even worse… it never even gets opened and gets sucked up that way!

C’mon! I know I’m not the only one that does that!

Anyway… I actually OPENED one of those emails this morning and actually READ the article!! And now…. I want to share it with the world! Well…. maybe not the “world”, but at least those that read my blog and follow me on social media”. 

I was going to just share it in a link HERE. But, I think I will also copy and paste the actual words to the article below, as well. Unfortunately I can’t “highlight” words here on WordPress, but I will change the words that struck home with me, to a BOLD black so that you can see what parts of the article I could have written myself! 

Disclaimer:  I am NOT as angry frustrated as the author of this article seems to be. I just want others to understand where I am coming from when I post anything that has to do with my illness. For me… battling a chronic illness is a daily battle. Lately, I have been having better days and for that, I am so very thankful! 

I also want to take just a moment to thank my wonderful Hubby for being so supportive through all of this mess! — I love you!

And… To the friends out there that are also supportive… (you know who you are!!)… a big thank you to you, as well!!

And now…… finally!… here is the article!

When Posting About Your Illness on Social Media Annoys Other People

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat… There’s a new popular social media site every year, it seems. People use them to share life updates with friends and family, to discuss the shows they’re watching, watch funny videos and read articles. Different people use these sites differently. Maybe you only post every now and then or it’s possible you post every day. Do you use it to share happy news and positive posts or possibly to vent about your crappy day or seek comfort and help from others? Maybe you do both. Either way, it’s up to you how you use your account.

But who hasn’t shared something that’s irritated someone else? A status that someone has deemed “sharing too much,” a political post, “yet another moany post” or even “another selfie.” The chances are, at some point, we’ve all shared or posted something online that another social media user has complained about, whether to our faces or not. Perhaps they responded with an ironic, hypocritical post, moaning about the people who moan online.

So where does this tie in with those of us who live with hypothyroidismHashimoto’sadrenal fatiguefibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and all the other related health conditions? ME …. I have been diagnosed with Hypothyroidism & Hashimoto’s.

RELATED STORIES

These two articles are NEXT on my list to read!

I’ve had a back and forth relationship with social media and my mental and physical health. I’ve had times of struggle but also times of successes. In the struggles, I’ve gone through phases of retracting from social media altogether, because, quite frankly, it’s not something at the top of my thoughts when I’m thinking about how much I wish I wasn’t here or that I can’t cope, but then other times, I’ve used social media to let people know that I can’t cope. It’s been a cry for support and an easier way to say to people “Hey! I’m really struggling!” rather than picking up the phone and telling them. Other times, I’ve felt like no one cares anyway, so why bother irritating them with my sad posts?

But isn’t that part of the problem? If I’m worrying that people will see my posts and roll their eyes, then they aren’t the kind of people I should have in my life anyway. I mean, they clearly don’t care about my well-being. I’m not saying they should shower each post in love and overwhelming support, but they shouldn’t be irritated by the fact that I’m literally crumbling and close to having a breakdown. That’s not compassionate.

For some, social media is their only form of contact with the outside world. When you live with a chronic illness, such as thyroid disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, etc. you may not be able to work and leave the house very much, if at all. Think about all the interactions a healthier person has on a daily basis; the people at the bus stop, work colleagues, customers or clients, the shop assistant when you pick up milk on the way home, if you pass a friend or neighbor in the street… Someone with a chronic illness can go days or weeks without outside contact from anyone else. And that can be incredibly lonely, of course. Sharing the trivial things they may therefore share on Facebook substitutes the conversations about trivial things they may have with a neighbor, work colleague or shop assistant. Maybe they need to vent online, as they would vent to friend. It’s healthy to get these things out, after all. For many, social media is a lifeline. It’s support. It replaces what their mental or physical health condition has taken away from them.

RELATED STORIES

More articles that I plan to read!

But how many times have you, as someone with a health condition, started to write something, only to delete it before you post? Or have you deleted a post after you hit enter, with your heart racing as you think to yourself, “I hope no one saw that. Why did I post it?!” Perhaps you just needed to vent it out and put it on to a page, before deleting it and feeling a sense of relief. I’ve done it several times. I do it every week, even.

For those sharing their successes, such as myself, even these posts can annoy and irritate. Just take a second to think about that — sharing when I’m at my lowest, fed up or in need of help, irritates people. Yet when I post about making some recovery, progress or a little bit of happiness where my health is concerned, this also seems to annoy some people. I believe maybe these people are just unable to interpret these posts in the socially accepted way. It’s possible. But there are some people you just can’t please no matter what and you shouldn’t try to. They’re just nasty. The type of person who thinks that whatever you post is inappropriate, perhaps over the top and oversharing, is also the sort who rarely posts to social media at all, I’ve found, or only posts non-personal things. Such as YouTube videos, political articles or dog memes. Let’s not get too fixated on what someone who doesn’t even use social media to keep in touch with and update friends and family, thinks about how you use it to do so. It’s the main purpose of social media! 

(I almost didn’t BOLD all that. I hope I’m not offending anyone! I do agree that social media is a wonderful way to keep in touch with and update friends and family)

And selfies. Where do I even start with those? Many think selfies are a product of the self-obsessed culture these days, when, in reality, what do selfies mean? Why do people post them? People post photos of themselves perhaps because they feel it’s a good photo of them. They feel confident and comfortable enough about how they look, to share that with others. Perhaps they took a bit more time to get ready this morning and are proud of what they achieved by doing so. Perhaps they tried something new with their hair or makeup. Perhaps they treated themselves to a new top. So why are people moaning about this, complaining that someone is vain or self obsessed for sharing a photo they like of themselves, instead of thinking “Hey, __ feels good about themselves today. That’s great.” (For myself… I have low self-esteem and a good selfie boosts my confidence about myself.)  I can’t believe I just shared that with the “world”!

Why are we not happy that they’re happy, or even happy about this one aspect of their day?

For a spoonie who perhaps doesn’t often have the energy to put a brush through their hair, struggles with their weight or often doesn’t see the point in makeup, being able to share a photo where they’ve perhaps accomplished or embraced one or more of those things should be celebrated. If they’ve shared a photo lying in bed and feeling like they look like rubbish, but they’ve decided to share that, they’ve shared an intimate part of their life with you.

At times, I’ve told myself I’m not to post anything about my health, mental or physical, on my personal social media pages. “Keep it all to the blog” I tell myself.  The people who care will follow my blog. The truth is, I shouldn’t just be reaching the people who care. I should especially be reaching the ones who don’t, and convince them why they should care. I should be raising awareness of thyroid disease and everything that comes with it. But what if people find me annoying for it? What if they think I’m self-righteous, vain or over the top? Honestly, people don’t have to read what I post. They can scroll on by. They don’t need to moan about me to someone else, they don’t have to be so dismissive and mean. They can choose to educate themselves and show a little compassion. Instead, they think to themselves, “Here Rachel goes again,” before scrolling on without much of a thought and then comments on some other post about the Kardashian’s. Priorities.

Maybe they think if they can ignore it, maybe it’ll go away and we’ll stop burdening their life with our troubles?

Whereas others may like filling up their social media profile with photos of their baby, their dog, food, memes, football posts, music, whatever, we spoonies are entitled to use ours just as we like, too. If we never want to mention our struggles, that’s fine. If we want to talk about them sometimes or leave subtle hints online, that’s fine. If we want to talk about it often and share articles and try to educate others, then that’s just fine, too. Why? Because we’re entitled to do so, but people aren’t welcome to make us feel like crap about it.

People are quick to jump to assumptions and judge, but they aren’t quick enough to ask if we need help or how we’re doing.

They’re feeding in to this stigma that it isn’t OK to talk openly about mental and physical health and that we really ought to keep it to ourselves, battle on and feel ashamed about it. But we have nothing to feel ashamed about and we all cope with things differently. If you think dog memes filling up your news feed is better than people raising awareness and looking for support with their struggles, then I think you seriously need to reevaluate your beliefs. Closing your eyes and covering up circumstances of mental health issues and people struggling with physical health conditions doesn’t eradicate them. It just makes it worse.

It’s really not hard to be a more compassionate person. Negativity and nastiness feeds more negativity and nastiness, and what good has that ever done to the world?

There will always be people who judge you and fail to understand what you’re going through. It is up to you to decide how much their opinion matters to you and if they deserve to remain a part of your life.

Follow this journey on The Invisible Hypothyroidism.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Heart 1

If you took the time to read all of this…. THANK YOU!!!!!!

Learning About the Thyroid

Thank you for the prayers for my Levi. He is doing MUCH better! The vet said that he probably just twisted his knee. She didn’t think it was anything serious. She gave him some pain meds and said to let him be a “couch potato” for the next week or two to let the inflammation subside. 🙂


Journal Entry: Thursday – January 15, 2015

I got my hair done yesterday. (I have been getting my hair highlighted for many years now.) I was there for what felt like FOREVER!! I had two girls in front of me. Usually, I am her first appointment. Oh well. My hair turned out awesome and that’s all that matters! I love my hairdresser, Katie! 

I went to see my mom after that. I didn’t stay too long, though. I wanted to ask her questions about her thyroid. It turns out that she had half of hers removed because of a growth, not because it was defective! (I’m not sure what that means) Soooo….. I guess I did not get this thyroid problem from her. I don’t know for sure, though. 

I bought two books from the book store. They are GREAT and are explaining a LOT! They’re making me realize that I need to see an endocrinologist, which is a doctor that deals with the endoctrine system — thyroid and hormones. (Plus more) 

Hubs agreed with me — THANK YOU, LORD! So, my goal today is to get myself set up with an appointment with one. Hopefully, I won’t have to wait months!! 

Today, I plan to stay at home. I hope to get some chores done, but I am so distracted by all this thyroid “stuff”! All I want to do is read these books! 

Here are the two books that I bought and the links to Barnes & Noble.

HYPO book 1
LINK

 

thyroidconnection
LINK

Trying to Figure It All Out

It’s Sunday and I normally used to go church every Sunday. Here lately… I have no interest. It’s not that I no longer believe in God or that I don’t want to worship him, it’s just…… well… I’m not even sure what it is!

There is no one to blame but myself. I’ve disconnected myself and I’m not sure why.

I’m am literally sitting here trying to figure it out and I can’t. I just don’t want to go.

Maybe it’s because I’ve gained so much weight and I feel so self-conscience. Or… maybe it’s this disease. Somewhere, I read that one of the symptoms is that it causes you to not enjoy things that you used to. (I’ve looked for an article about it, but can’t locate one at this moment.)

Anyway….. It’s almost time for me to start getting ready to go and I just don’t want to.


Journal Entry: Wednesday – January 14, 2015

Monday was a good day at work. I worked out and did Zumba. I can tell that I am so out of shape. I weighed and measured for the first time in forever. It was NOT good! I weighed more than I ever have in my history of working at Curves! My inches were up, too! My blood pressure was high, as well. I have a feeling that it has to do with my thyroid. 

Yesterday, I felt extremely bloated and uncomfortable. I didn’t work out at all. All I wanted to do was go home. I went to Barnes & Noble (book store) after work to look for books on hypothyroid. I ended up buying two. (I LOVE BOOKS!) 

I came home and immediately started reading one of them. But, I started getting sleepy — which is one of the symptoms of hypothyroidism. As soon as I started falling asleep… my stupid leg started jerking!! UGH!! Soooo….. I had to take my leg medicine, which made me even more sleepy! I was a sleepy “zombie” for the rest of the day and evening. I went to bed at 8:00 and slept until 5:00 this morning! I slept really well. I hope that I am caught up enough that I won’t be so tired today. 

I “think” I am starting to feel the effects of this anti-depressant medication that my doctor put me on. I feel “weird”, like I have no emotion. But… it “could” be the depression. I have no idea. At least I’m not bawling my eyes out like I was! 

Today, I go see Katie (my hairdresser) to get my hair done. I want to go see my mom, too. I want to ask her about her history with her thyroid. She had hers removed years ago, but I don’t remember why. 


Alright… I guess I’ll go take a shower and try to get myself motivated to go to church.

I apologize for no pictures with this post. I would like to find a picture of my church and share it with you.

Oh… and I left out “links” in this post, as well. Oops!! I got in a hurry!!