High Blood Pressure is Scary Stuff!

memorial_day_deals_and_freebiesIt’s Memorial Day. This might be the first year in a long time that we had no plans what-so-ever. We usually are at the beach, or hanging out with friends and family somewhere. In the past…. I wouldn’t have been happy not having anything on our agenda. Now… I really don’t care.

It’s probably the depression and/or the hashi’s that makes me feel this way. I’m not sure.

I’ve been reading and exploring more about Hashimoto’s and I learn more each time I do. I’m finding it helpful to read other people’s journey’s with it. I also realized that there are many celebrities that have it. (I’m sure that they have personal trainers and LOTS of help to keep them skinny, tho!)

Here are a few links to some that I found yesterday.

Ultrahypo.blogspot.com

Shawnmynar.com

livingwellmom.com

Anyway… between all of my Hashi issues…

I still have …. my family issues (I mentioned this in yesterday’s post. This is causing me a great deal of depression at the moment.) … Hubs being sick… trying to make money through my Poshmark store … learning to sell on eBay … and a dog that won’t stay out of the pool (yaaa… it’s cute, but it’s also a pain in the *#%*!

Life is definitely interesting!


Journal Entry: Wednesday – March 4, 2014

Yesterday started off better, but didn’t go so well later. 

I was teaching a new client how to use one of the machines and I started feeling that hot “flushed” feeling that I’ve been getting. Then, my heart started “fluttering” or feeling weird. I went and took my BP and it was high… again!! 155/92!!!! HOLY MESS!!!!!  What is going on with me??? 

I got myself settled back down and even decided to try and workout, but slowly. I was doing great and feeling fine and then the phone rang and I had to deal with a couple of things. And then… it happened AGAIN!! (feeling like I did earlier) I went and took my BP again and it was 138/86.  Still high, but not as bad. 

My schedule that day had me leaving work at 11:00 am. The phone rang again and it was a co-worker who was supposed to come in at 10:00, saying that she was sick and couldn’t find another co-worker to come in for her, so I had to stay until 1:00 pm until the NEXT co-worker was scheduled to arrive! UGH!! I wanted to go home so bad!

I talked to Hubs and he suggested that I try and get an earlier appointment with my Endocrinologist (sooner than next Thursday!). So, I called and they had an opening for tomorrow morning!! YAY!! Now, I have to get all of my notes and questions in order.

I continued to have heart palpitations on and off throughout the day, even after I got home. I even felt it when I went to bed last night! (Now, that I am re-reading this…. I bet this was caused by anxiety.)

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RV Living and Hashimoto’s

Happy Monday!

I used to dread Monday’s. But, now that I am at home full-time… I don’t mind them one bit! I thank the Good Lord for allowing me to be able to stay home.

This weekend… I found a YouTube channel to watch about a couple that are full-time RV’ing (living full-time in a 5th wheel!) and traveling all over the country! I have not watched many episodes, but one of the first ones that they did …

The video’s are like a blog, but done with a video camera and put on YouTube for the world to see! They are called “Vlogs”. You may have already known that, but I am just now getting caught up with the YouTube world, and I’m loving it! 

Back to the story…

One of the first ones they did was of them explaining WHY they decided to go to the full-time RV life. It was very interesting. But the one thing that caught my attention the most was that Kali is battling HASHIMOTO’S just like me!!!!!! She had to quit her full-time job as well, because she couldn’t function. (ME TOO!!!) Thankfully, Josh has a job where he can remotely work and this allows them to be able to live the lifestyle that they are now living. But…. WOW!!! It was so interesting to hear Kali talk about her Hashimoto’s! — Kali, I feel for you!

My plan is to continue to watch their videos, when I have the time. Hubs and I are hoping to get a 5th Wheel later this year. We aren’t planning on RV’ing full time, but we do hope to travel more. Who knows!! Maybe we’ll make a Vlog!! ….. Well, “I” might make one. Hubs might be “behind” the camera, and most likely won’t be in front of it! 🙂

Here’s a link to the video that explains their story… The Freedom Theory.

Maybe Kali will somehow see that I tagged their video into my blog and contact me! I would love that!

Kali & Josh
Kali & Josh — The Freedom Theory

Journal Entry: Friday – February 27, 2015

Yesterday was a rough day! I ended up going into deep depression and had an anxiety attack!! I cried all morning and then I got SO depressed that I started feeling sick! 

After I calmed down a bit, I Googled… “Hashimoto’s and Depression” and the first article that I read described me to a “T”!!! This made my anxiety even worse!! 

I texted Hubs to tell him and I think he got upset with me because he told me to “quit reading about Hashi’s!”. Well… I think my anxiety started because of my feeling SO OVERWHELMED with worry about myself, my girls AND Hubs! ALL of the things that we have going on are making me like this!

I did manage to get my house fairly clean before I went into the full on anxiety attack. But, the rest of the day… I was gone… mentally, that is.

I am back to not getting enough sleep, again. It also depresses me that I will most likely have to go on a Gluten-free diet. BLECH!!!! That will be extremely difficult for me. 

I am glad that today is Friday and as much as I don’t want to go to work… I need to! If I stay at home, I will stay depressed. I need to get my mind off of everything. 

Mother’s Day Tears and Fears

I had a pretty good Mother’s Day. I cried a lot a LOT, but I knew I would. I was not crying over just my mom not being here, but other family issues, as well. All I can do is pray that the situation gets better and forgiveness takes over. I know all to well how resentment and bitterness can ruin a relationship. It’s better to forgive and move on. Put the past behind and move forward.

Hubs and I took Levi down to the river walk near us since it was a beautiful morning. He doesn’t walk too well on a leash, but he’s still young. I took a lot of pics. I’ll share a few.

It was a perfect morning for a walk!

Back to the reason for this blog….


Journal Entry: Tuesday – February 3, 2015

Work was okay, yesterday. I used up all of my energy there, though. I was exhausted when I got home! I tried to take a nap without taking my meds (Medications for Restless Legs) but couldn’t, so I took my meds and then CRASHED! I was out for the rest of the afternoon. (When I worked at the gym, I only worked in the morning hours. So… I was probably trying to take a nap around 1 or 2:00 in the afternoon.)

Journal Entry: Friday – February 6, 2015

I can’t wait to get my results back from the Endocrinologist. I wish it were TODAY! I have to wait one more week! UGH. My finger tips feel like they are “burning”. It’s really bothering me. (I think I had felt this sensation before, when I went to my primary care doctor. It was a weird feeling. I don’t think I’ve had it happen since this time.)

Journal Entry: Saturday – February 7, 2015

I feel like CRAP, today! I have terrible stomach cramps. I’m not sure whats going on. I keep crying because I’m scared. I am so anxious to find out my results, but I am also SO SCARED! I wish my friend Dana was here. I need a friend. I am sitting here BAWLING!! (Dana – name changed – is my long-time friend that lives outside of Atlanta, where we used to live. I don’t see her as often as I “should”. I really need to work on that!)

The good news is that my doctor’s appointment got moved up to Tuesday at 3:00. So at least I don’t have to wait until Friday, now. 

I feel VERY OVERWHELMED!! My mind is going in at least 10 different directions! (There was a LOT going on in my life at that time. I was terribly stressed, and really didn’t even know it.)

Lord, please give me peace and calmness. 

Anxiety? Depression? Both?… IDK

I’m not sure… but, I think this thyroid medication (Armour Thyroid) that the doc has me on is making me WIDE AWAKE and feeling some anxiety. I needed more energy, BUT —— I need sleep, too!!

Feeling overwhelmed should not be in my vocabulary, right now. Why do I feel that way?? I DO have a lot on my mind. But, doesn’t everyone?? 

Let’s just see what all I have going on in this anxiety-filled brain of mine….

  • How to GROW my Poshmark business so that I can make a REAL profit with it.
  • How can I make it a REAL resale clothing business? Is it possible? Or just a dream?
  • I NEED to make some sort of income to pay my medical bills.
  • I WANT SO BADLY to make this work so that I don’t have to go out and get a job.
  • I’m having trouble getting myself organized with this business. I don’t know why.
  • My housework is getting neglected because I am working so hard on my business.
  • I am not getting the exercise that I need because I am constantly sitting.
  • I know I NEED to get back to the gym.
  • I have more doc appointments coming up and that means MORE BILLS!
  • Something is bothering Hubs and so… therefore… I can’t stop wondering what it is.
  • I want to ask… but, I’m scared to. It might be about ME! (been down that road)
  • My clothes don’t fit. I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!
  • I’m depressed and anxious …. all at the same time.
  • Mother’s Day is coming up. I’m dreading it.
  • My dog needs a bath and needs to be walked.
  • My cars need a bath
  • I SHOULD be cooking for Hubs each night. I hate to cook.
  • I NEED a pedicure really bad. Don’t want to spend the $$. Don’t HAVE the $$.
  • My back porch is a mess. I need to clean it.
  • My 35th High School Reunion is coming up. I want to go. Don’t have the $$.
  • My mom still needs a gravestone. I know that I need to do that. Just can’t.

Okay. I’ll stop there. That is enough.

I can’t see the screen through the tears, now.

I didn’t mean for this post to “go south”. Depression is not an easy thing to live with.

Seeing Stars, But Not the Kind in the Sky

I am enjoying blogging. I can write all day long! That isn’t a problem with me at all. My problem seems to be coming up with good titles for my posts. Why is that such a struggle??  So… forgive me if they sounds boring and not thought out. I try. I really do!!

It’s a nasty rain day here in Georgia. I’m thankful that I don’t have to be out in it today!

I am also thankful that I have had more energy lately! My endocrinologist put on a thyroid medication called “Armour Thyroid”. Of course, it’s not really to help my Hashi’s or to help my thyroid. It’s just to help me battle the symptoms of it all. This autoimmune disease will still kill my thyroid over time. Could be months. Could be years. The Hashi’s will never go away, unfortunately.


Journal Entry: Tuesday – January 20, 2014

I don’t have long to write this morning since it’s a work day, but I wanted to document that I had a MEDICAL SCARE yesterday!! 

My blood pressure has been running high. (I have been checking it at work) Yesterday, before I worked out… it was high — 139/95!!!! I was kind of scared to work out after that, but I did. 

Then, while I was doing Zumba… about 40 minutes into it… I started seeing stars!! I knew I needed to sit down. So, I did. I felt better then. It sure did scare me!!! I just pray that it’s my thyroid and nothing else. I pray that I can take medication for it and feel better.

Journal Entry: Wednesday – January 21, 2014

All I can think about is all this possible thyroid stuff!!! It is consuming my mind! I’m not really worried. (Ya, right!!) I’m just anxious to get started on some answers and get to feeling like myself again! (I’m STILL waiting on that!)

I keep thinking … what if the doctor says that my thyroid is fine?? Then WHAT? Do I keep insisting on answers?? UGH! I don’t know what to do. 

I know that I really need to quit thinking about it and let God be in control. It sure is hard to do, though. 

I’m going to get some chores done here at home this morning and then go to town. I need to run some errands and then I have to go to the nursing home. Chester ate some of my mom’s important papers! Soooo…. I have to go get copies of those and then take them to get signed. 

Chester was one of our beautiful Golden Retrievers. Sadly, he developed Leukemia and we had to put him down in April of last year. 😦

IMG_4206

Approaching 50 (part 5)

Journal Entry: Tuesday – December 2, 2014

Hubs has decided to take me to Pensacola, Florida for my birthday. I really wanted to go to New Orleans, but for whatever reason… HE does not want to go. 

We plan to stay in downtown Pensacola the first night and then stay at the Margaritaville Hotel the next two nights! I pray that it’s fun. 


Journal Entry: Wednesday – December 3, 2014 In a MONTH… I have gained 8 pounds! 😦

What is up with this HUGE weight gain??!!! Something is NOT right! 

I woke up this morning with another headache. UGH! And…. my legs have been jerking like CRAZY!! Between this and the menopause stuff… it’s awful! I keep telling myself that I’ve GOT to do something about it! I guess I can try walking instead of riding my bike in the winter. It’s too bad that I don’t have a friend to walk with me in my neighborhood. 

Yesterday, I started trying to figure out what clothes to take on our trip this coming weekend. I got extremely frustrated! I look fat in EVERYTHING!! I just want to cry about it all. 

LORD, please help me to feel better and look better. I feel so old, frumpy and fat! 

I am STILL feeling this way about my clothes! And..… I weigh a LOT more than I did on this day, here!


Journal Entry: Thursday – December 4, 2014 – LOST 2 pounds!

My RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) is INSANE this week! It’s the worst that it’s been in a LONG time! I couldn’t even sit through church last night because of it. Then, it bothered me when I got home. I woke up at 2:30 a.m. and now, I’m awake at 4:30 because I kept waking up! UGH!! I feel like for whatever reason… my body is so TENSE on the inside. I know muscle tension and anxiety does not help my RLS. The good news is that I lost a couple of pounds! 

I went to see my mom yesterday. I told her about my menopause issues. Of course… the first thing she asked me was… “You’re not pregnant, are you?”.  OMG!!! Really, mom?? That woman has worried about me getting pregnant my whole life! GEEEZZZZZ!! 

I feel so stressed and I don’t know why. I could really use a massage … but, I wonder if it would really help. Of course… now, I want to cry. I can’t wait until I can go to the doctor and get my hormone levels checked. I feel like my body is so out of control! 

I like this journal entry because it helps me to remember how awful I was feeling before I saw the doctor(s) in the following couple of months.

One more entry coming up below, of my “Approaching 50” category, then we’ll move on to my life and “The not-so-fun side of 50”.


Journal Entry: Friday – December 5, 2014 – Back up two pounds, again. 😦

I am still not feeling the greatest. I hope I can make it through the holidays and be able to get to the doctor at the first of the year. Of course… after the holidays, while eating and drinking all the wrong foods, isn’t the most ideal time to go. UGH!

The weather in Pensacola is supposed to be perfect! Saturday, the high will be 73! The lows will be in the 50’s and 60’s. I’m going to have to re-pack!

Hubs is going to get off work early, but I have to go to town to pick up our Kenny Chesney tickets. After we both get home this morning, we will leave.

We plan to go to dinner at Outback Steakhouse when we get down there. Then, we will go to the hotel and then we will go to the historic downtown area of Pensacola. There are lots of bars down there that we want to check out. It should be fun!

50-25
Hubs and I in front of our hotel in Pensacola, Florida. (My under-eye bags and neck wrinkles!! UGH!!)