Nana Has an Autoimmune Disease

Happy Friday!!

I was super busy the past two days, playing with my little Rosey! I just can’t get enough “Nana time”. It’s so much fun!

Little Bug 1 You’re not going to believe me…. but, I wasn’t ready to be a “Grandma” until I saw this sweet baby for the first time! Then… of course… it was totally, love at first sight and I was extremely proud to be “Nana” to this precious little angel!

I have always heard others say that being a grandparent is THE most awesome thing in the world. Well… it IS pretty awesome!

For me, though…. the most awesome thing in the world is seeing my beautiful daughter in the “mommy” role. She is SUCH a wonderful mommy! I could not be more proud of her!! The love I have for these two is indescribable.

There are things going on in my life right now that I am also very depressed about. Things that I wish I could share, but shouldn’t. The joy and love that I feel when I am with Ansley and Rosey, brings me to different kinds of tears… happy tears! I am so thankful for that.


Journal Entry: Friday – February 20, 2015

I had a dream last night that Hubs and I were with all of our friends, camping and hanging out. Hubs was having a good time and all I wanted to do was be by myself. I did not want to socialize. — It’s weird, because that is how I REALLY feel and it’s totally unlike me. I know that it’s one of the symptoms of HYPOTHYROIDISM, but how weird it is for me to dream about it. — This really IS weird! Two years ago, I was feeling this way and I STILL feel this way!! I’m much more happy content when I am by myself. 

I went to bed last night with a headache. I’m wondering if sugar and/or gluten are the cause. If that IS the case… then I will have to change my diet! Ugh. — Over two years later, and I still haven’t totally given up the sugar and gluten. I keep trying, but I also keep failing. 


Journal Entry: Saturday – February 21, 2015

I STILL have a headache!! I had a nagging one pretty much all day yesterday. It was SO annoying! I just wish I knew if it was sinus related or part of my Hashi’s. 

Work was “okay”. I did not work out because of the headache. 

After work, I went to the book store (I LOVE books!!!) and bought two more books. They are about Autoimmune Diseases. One book talks about reversing it “naturally”, and the other one is about “Living with an autoimmune disease”. 

What scares me the most is that if have one autoimmune disease, then I am more likely to have another one, as well. (or more!!)

In one of the books, there is a quiz to take to see where you are on the spectrum of A.I. Disease.  Such as: Mild, Moderate, or Severe. — WELL… I am WAY past severe according to the numbers!!!!! UGH!! This is SOOOOO SCARY!! 

I have SO MUCH on my mind! Maybe that is why my head hurts. 

I will have to locate the books that I mention above and find the quiz and post it either later today, or tomorrow. My office is a scattered mess at the moment with Rosey’s portable bed (that we keep here) and all of my Poshmark things. By the way…. I sold another item!! 🙂 YAY!!!  And…. I have a friend that is interested in consigning a few items with me!! Wahooo!!  I’m excited!!! 

 

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Mom

WOW! I am so thankful for all of the “likes” on my blog post from yesterday! Who knew that a list of all the junk going on in my little brain could be so interesting! I could actually add MORE to that list this morning, but I don’t want to keep going down that “bunny trail”. 😉

I am not sure if I mentioned in a previous post or not, that my mom recently passed away, last year on September 25th. —- writing this through tears now… so hang in there with me….   She had a stroke in November of 2005. (The 2nd worst day of my life. The first was when my daddy died.) She lived most of her last 11 years in a nursing home. (I SHOULD have written a blog during all that, but I wasn’t mentally in the right frame of mind for it, for most of those years anyway.)

Anyway…. I needed to explain all of that before I write this next blog post. I didn’t want you to be confused and think… “Okay. I think I missed something. What happened to her mom?”

By the  way —- I have been told that I write like I talk … (which is a LOT!)… so, if I have your mind so confused as you read this, all I can say is… WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!


Journal Entry: Thursday – January 29, 2015.

I woke up with another headache this morning. I think it’s sinus pressure, but I had a bad dream just before I woke up. It could be because of that. 

I dreamed that I was with my mom in an apartment and I had come home to find her yelling at me because I had left the back door open and we had been robbed! (Wow. This is weird! I haven’t read this blog post since I write it over two years ago and I can still see this dream, fresh in my mind! Dreams totally fascinate me. They always have!) They had taken my stash of cash that I had hidden, (Wish I had that stash now! I could use it.) my iPod and my big camera. They did not take my laptop or my iPad. My mom and I got into a HUGE argument(This was not unusual. Through my teen years, my mom and I didn’t get along too well.) 

I wonder if my mom was in my dream because she called me last night about 8:30, asking me about an upaid car repair bill that she said she never paid. I told her not to worry because that had been 10 years ago! I forgot to mention that my mom’s mind was “sharp as a tack” (as she would say), up until the day before she died. 

More tears flowing…. hang in there with me.

IMG_2571
Not the best picture… but, this is my mom. This “selfie” was taken when Mandy & I went to go see her on Christmas Eve, 2014.

I have no earthly idea what brought that to her mind! It was rather odd. I couldn’t finish my conversation with her because the aides were there in her room, waiting to put her to bed. I should go over there today, but I don’t want to. (Please don’t judge me for that.)

This morning, I have to be at the endocrinologist’s office at 8:00 to have blood work and the ultrasound done on my thyroid.  I can’t eat anything. I’m trying to drink my coffee black, but… YUCK!!! I wish I had tomorrow off. I need a day at home.