Approaching 50 (Part 4)

menopause1
Photo Credit: Weight Loss for Women with Pre-Menopause

Journal Entry: Wednesday – November 26, 2014 – Gained ANOTHER 2 pounds!!

Well… here I am. My weight is just going UP, UP, UP! I am also terribly constipated. (I know… TMI!) I feel so bloated and miserable. UGH! I ate some prunes, hoping that they might help. If not, I’ll go get a laxative. (Yuck!)

I woke up too early today (of course!) on a day that I didn’t HAVE to! I hate when I do that. I had a bad dream, too. I was working at a preschool, I think. I was so lost and confused! Nothing was like it should be and they fired me because I didn’t know what I was doing! I was SO upset! 

I think I may have dreamed this dream because my life (well… my body!) is SO confused right now! I read recently that menopause is like having PMS x 10!! YIKES! How am I going to deal with this? And now… I have to go on a REAL diet, just to lose this stupid weight that I have gained! Ugh.

The REAL nightmare was all the weight that I had gained! After the holidays, I went to my family doctor and within a few months, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis by an endocrinologist.

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Approaching 50 (part 2)

Woman Stepping onto Scale
Photo Credit: healthline.com 

cropped-img_04851.jpg Journal Entry: Thursday – November 13, 2014 GAINED 5 lbs!!

Well, I slept better. But, my back still hurts

I don’t even know where to begin thinking about Christmas! Yikes! I hate having to give gifts. It all stresses me out!


cropped-img_04851.jpgJournal Entry: Friday – November 14, 2014

Mandy still won’t talk to me much. This made me more sad! I had already been crying all morning, just depressed and missing my girls.

Hubs came home right after me. He went to the fridge for a beer – which is unusual for him during the week. He then asked me if I had talked to Mandy. I told him what I knew. THEN —- He told me that she was considering joining the ARMY!!! This is NOT something that I want!! But, I can’t stop her.

So… I cried some more. At least Hubs was sweet this time and hugged me.

My back is KILLING ME because of all this stress!!

** By the way….. All names have been changed. 


cropped-img_04851.jpgJournal Entry: Monday – November 17, 2014

 I did not want to get up this morning. I have been sleeping good, lately!

I’m going to try extra hard to stay on track with my eating and exercising this week and next until Thanksgiving! I can’t believe that I gained 5 pounds!! I am so depressed about it.

I hate that it’s cold. I can’t ride my bike.

 

Approaching 50 (part 1)

I decided to go back in my journals to a couple of months before I turned 50. This is a good starting place for me. As I blog, I may end up going even further back as I try to pinpoint where all my “issues” started.

I am leaving out some parts of my journal entries because they are just too personal.

cropped-img_04851.jpgJournal entry: Sunday – November 2, 2014

I am at my friend, Amy’s house in Forsyth, GA. I came here yesterday for a girl’s weekend. I thought there would be 6 friends, but only ended up being 4. We had fun, but it was too windy to build a fire in the fire pit, like we wanted to do. The wind made it frigid outside!

I have eaten way more than I should have! And I’ve got to get back to a strict eating and exercise plan!

My head hurts this morning. I’m sure it’s dehydration. I’ve got to get back to drinking my water!

Of course, I’m awake way before anyone else. I just made coffee and I’m cuddled up in my bed, here. I’m not sure what to do about leaving to go home. I want to leave as soon as the sun comes up, but… I don’t know if anyone else will be up then. I don’t want to be rude.

You can see here, that I KNEW I needed to eat better, exercise more and drink more water. I have said that a LOT over the past two years and I’m STILL saying it! Why is it SO hard to follow through with these things?? 

cropped-img_04851.jpgJournal entry: Wednesday – November 5, 2014 

My back was hurting really bad yesterday!

I’m going to try not to eat a lot! I want to get healthy. Maybe I will eat some fruit and eggs and maybe sausage.

Yes… I know that sausage isn’t good for me. But, it’s something that I really love! I was at least, buying turkey sausage. *wink

I woke up way too early this morning – 3:15! I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I just got up! My mind was racing!

I keep track of my weight in my journal, as well. I’m not going to share the number… but, on this day, it was at a number that I would LOVE to be back down to!! (even though I was still considered “obese” by the chart at the gym! I don’t THINK so!!

In future posts here… I still won’t name a number… but, I will let you know if I’m UP or DOWN

cropped-img_04851.jpgJournal Entry: Friday – November 7, 2014

 My back hurts this morning! I did not sleep well. Part of it is because Hubs is tossing and turning all night! He flung his arm at me at least 3 times! I also can’t sleep on my right shoulder, so I must turn to face him in the bed. NOT fun! If this keeps up, I will go sleep in the guest room! I’m sure Hubs will say that I’m snoring and keeping HIM awake. But, he wouldn’t hear me if HE was asleep!

I finally believe Hubs about my snoring now. I don’t think it’s bad, but I have noticed that I wake myself up sometimes with “noises”. (He snores sometimes, too!)

cropped-img_04851.jpgJournal Entry: Tuesday – November 11, 2014

 I’ve been waking up with a backache. I hope we don’t need a new mattress! I slept good until I woke up at 3:00am. I did manage to go back to sleep until 4:30.

I rode my bike. I did good. My wrist started hurting on the way back, so I only rode 8.7 miles, not 10. The hills got to me. It was 70 degrees. Perfect weather to ride!

I used to LOVE to ride my bike!! Sadly, I think it’s been a year now since I have ridden it.

I sprained my wrist a few weeks before this was written. Clumsy me tripped over the exercise mats at work! — Believe it or not… I used to work in a gym!

cropped-img_04851.jpgJournal Entry: Wednesday – November 12, 2014

 I slept like crap last night! I went to bed about 9:30 with a lot on my mind, but that wasn’t the problem! 1) I couldn’t get comfortable because my shoulder hurts. I’ve done something to it! I hate it! 2) It was like being in an oven when I went to bed! Hubs had the heater in there cranked up! 3) My legs started jerking as soon as I started finally going to sleep! Then, I kept waking up all night, off and on. UGH!

It’s been an up and down kind of day.

The down – I’ve been depressed & crying most of the day. I miss my girls. I miss them being little. Those days went by too fast. I want to go back to Quinn Ridge when they were little and I spent so much time with them! I cry, just thinking about it.

The up – I biked over 10 miles and did EVERY hill!

The down – I started thinking about pictures and it made me think of the picture “slides” from my childhood that I can’t find. I’ve looked EVERYWHERE!

I was diagnosed with Restless Leg Syndrome about 20 years ago, roughly. It has steadily gotten worse and worse as I age. I am now taking multi medications just to help my legs relax so that I can sleep. I have an appointment with a Neurologist on Wednesday. I am hoping that he can help me with it.