Mother’s Day Tears and Fears

I had a pretty good Mother’s Day. I cried a lot a LOT, but I knew I would. I was not crying over just my mom not being here, but other family issues, as well. All I can do is pray that the situation gets better and forgiveness takes over. I know all to well how resentment and bitterness can ruin a relationship. It’s better to forgive and move on. Put the past behind and move forward.

Hubs and I took Levi down to the river walk near us since it was a beautiful morning. He doesn’t walk too well on a leash, but he’s still young. I took a lot of pics. I’ll share a few.

It was a perfect morning for a walk!

Back to the reason for this blog….


Journal Entry: Tuesday – February 3, 2015

Work was okay, yesterday. I used up all of my energy there, though. I was exhausted when I got home! I tried to take a nap without taking my meds (Medications for Restless Legs) but couldn’t, so I took my meds and then CRASHED! I was out for the rest of the afternoon. (When I worked at the gym, I only worked in the morning hours. So… I was probably trying to take a nap around 1 or 2:00 in the afternoon.)

Journal Entry: Friday – February 6, 2015

I can’t wait to get my results back from the Endocrinologist. I wish it were TODAY! I have to wait one more week! UGH. My finger tips feel like they are “burning”. It’s really bothering me. (I think I had felt this sensation before, when I went to my primary care doctor. It was a weird feeling. I don’t think I’ve had it happen since this time.)

Journal Entry: Saturday – February 7, 2015

I feel like CRAP, today! I have terrible stomach cramps. I’m not sure whats going on. I keep crying because I’m scared. I am so anxious to find out my results, but I am also SO SCARED! I wish my friend Dana was here. I need a friend. I am sitting here BAWLING!! (Dana – name changed – is my long-time friend that lives outside of Atlanta, where we used to live. I don’t see her as often as I “should”. I really need to work on that!)

The good news is that my doctor’s appointment got moved up to Tuesday at 3:00. So at least I don’t have to wait until Friday, now. 

I feel VERY OVERWHELMED!! My mind is going in at least 10 different directions! (There was a LOT going on in my life at that time. I was terribly stressed, and really didn’t even know it.)

Lord, please give me peace and calmness. 

What I Just Learned About Hashimoto’s

We have a big storm going on here this morning. Hopefully, I won’t lose power as I write this! I do love a good thunderstorm, though. But, just keep those tornadoes away!

I hung out with two of my friends yesterday. We went “thrifting”. That’s what we call going to thrift stores, looking for bargains. It’s a lot of fun!! Of course, right now, since I’m not making an income… I saw SO MANY things that I wanted to buy!! That’s the way it always goes, doesn’t it?

My goal was to look for things for my online Poshmark shop. I did find quite a few items at very good prices! I couldn’t resist paying $1.00 to $3.00 for clothing items that were PERFECT for resale! I also found a few other things to enhance the pictures that I take of my items. The next step is to get everything prepared to list.

IMG_9489

Today’s blog post regarding my journal and health issues is going to be kind of random. There were a lot of things going on in my life in the first few months of 2015. A lot of “changes”. I look back at those and realize…. I must have been feeling a LOT of stress! And BIG TIME STRESS is one of the biggest triggers for Hashimoto’s!

Okay… I am about to go down another “bunny trail”. As I was searching for an article to link for you about Hashi’s and stress… I came across an article (and topic) that I’ve never read before. It actually made me say…. “Oh my gosh!!! Wow!”… out loud!

Check this out….

Imagine having all the symptoms of a major mental illness such as manic depression, paranoid schizophrenia, psychotic depression, or even a bipolar disorder. One day you wake up with overflowing physical energy, even feeling severely anxious, with a rapid heartbeat, profuse sweating, trembling hands, and diarrhea, and you can’t stop losing weight. Then soon enough, without warning, your energy plummets. You feel like a slug, are constipated, your hair starts falling out, you gain weight no matter how little you eat, and you are severely depressed. You may have difficulty swallowing, sound hoarse, and feel like you have swallowed something that wont go down. And then, suddenly, your old symptoms return, and you feel anxious, sweaty, trembling, and panicky. This cycle can repeat itself again and again.

THAT, my friend, TOTALLY explains how I’ve been feeling for the past….well… I’m not sure how long!! WOW!!

The title of the article is…

Is it Mental Illness or Hashimoto’s Disease?

MENTAL ILLNESS????? REALLY???

Click HERE if you would like to read the rest of the article. If you’re interested at all about Hashi’s… you NEED to read this! WOW!

I need to end this post for now. I have a MILLION things to do this morning! Well… maybe not a “million”. But… quite a lot. 

Have a great Saturday!!

Feeling Sick and Closing Out December

I’m not writing much today. My mind is on so many other things and I can’t focus on my writing. I’m working on a way to make money from home. I just don’t feel like I can handle a job working somewhere else or FOR anyone else. I never know how I’m going to feel. For instance… I felt GREAT Saturday! Yesterday, I was just tired. And today… I feel like I could be sick. NOT a fun feeling! I didn’t sleep well last night, either. I’m not sure what’s going on.

Back to my journal — As the year ended… I was feeling more and more miserable and couldn’t wait to go see my doctor at the beginning of the year. I knew something just wasn’t right.


Journal Entry: Saturday – December 27, 2014

I don’t even want to set foot on the scales! But… I have to get back to eating right and exercising. It’s a MUST DO! My #1 priority after the new year is to lose weight. I’ve gotta’ keep that focus. 


Journal Entry: Monday – December 29, 2014

Yesterday, Hubs and I were lazy and SO TIRED! (We had a Christmas / New Years Party the night before.) Our party was a lot of fun! But… I looked at the pictures of myself that one of my friends posted on Facebook …. and OH MY! I looked SO BAD!! It was so depressing. I’ve GOT to eat better and get my energy level back! I’ve got to get serious again.

At work, we are gearing up for the “Biggest Loser Contest” that is coming up in mid January. It last for 3 months. I hope I can do well with it. Last year, I lost 9 pounds during it. 

I did work out today and I did some Zumba. One lady told me that I didn’t look happy, today. I wonder if she could see how stressed and upset I am about my weight. I’ve gotta’ get back to it!!! 


 

Approaching 50 (part 2)

Woman Stepping onto Scale
Photo Credit: healthline.com 

cropped-img_04851.jpg Journal Entry: Thursday – November 13, 2014 GAINED 5 lbs!!

Well, I slept better. But, my back still hurts

I don’t even know where to begin thinking about Christmas! Yikes! I hate having to give gifts. It all stresses me out!


cropped-img_04851.jpgJournal Entry: Friday – November 14, 2014

Mandy still won’t talk to me much. This made me more sad! I had already been crying all morning, just depressed and missing my girls.

Hubs came home right after me. He went to the fridge for a beer – which is unusual for him during the week. He then asked me if I had talked to Mandy. I told him what I knew. THEN —- He told me that she was considering joining the ARMY!!! This is NOT something that I want!! But, I can’t stop her.

So… I cried some more. At least Hubs was sweet this time and hugged me.

My back is KILLING ME because of all this stress!!

** By the way….. All names have been changed. 


cropped-img_04851.jpgJournal Entry: Monday – November 17, 2014

 I did not want to get up this morning. I have been sleeping good, lately!

I’m going to try extra hard to stay on track with my eating and exercising this week and next until Thanksgiving! I can’t believe that I gained 5 pounds!! I am so depressed about it.

I hate that it’s cold. I can’t ride my bike.